Self-made solitude stalker

Nowadays, this tumblog is becoming like an online scrapbook project of mine. Mostly where I stuff.. stuff that I like, or did. Or watched, or read. Basically its my online therapy sessions.
I aim to post at least one post a day.




You deserve to

yes! especially you iirnii ~ happy birthday :)

Thanks aishahansari!! Wishing the same to you as well ^^.b

Yup, in Manila now ^^. But just a long weekend trip, flying back home this Monday. And thanks deathberry Dybb! :D

My show tonight. Here in Manila.

Comic strip ‘napped from @Calvinn_Hobbes

For those who celebrates it, Happy Eid’ Fitr al Mubarak.. may peace be upon you, upon me, upon us all. The year has been rough to many of the people around the world so far, and I’m both sorry and thankful for mine were so very less eventful than most of them. I went for a cruise early in the year and I wondered what would I do if I was trapped inside with my friends then, watching sea water ever so slowly consuming the air and everything… I travelled to Europe on my own after the missing plane and wondered what kind of grief would my family had if I lost contact with everyone on the spot.. I flew back from Europe over the same war-ridden country’s airspace and wondered if I was in an ill-fated flight, would I be shaken awake for my last moments or would I just.. felt utmost pain and then gone? And I jumped out of my skin at the sound of fire crackers tonight from merry neighbours - and I wondered how it was like living with that heart thumping every single moment hoping the next one won’t trample the wall or make what bits of shelter I have to collapse on me… I am truly thankful and I am truly sorry for what I lack in easing whatever grief and hurt others are facing when I am in position to do something. For I am a coward with just my thoughts..

May strength to face hardships and calm solace are with us, may we be free and we be wise, be thoughtful, be mindful, and be kind. Muslims or not, my thoughts here are for you and me.

Pretty night light…

2010. 2011. 2012. 2013. 2014. Evolution of BEAST’s concerts.

thought process

Good Luck promotion cycle has ended. BEAST had a very memorably fantastic winning streak the past 4 weeks of promotions, nice :D

Ah.. for closing of this promotion cycle, they will be performing the Korean version of Sad Movie on the 4th week of July, alright! So that means hopefully Hyunseung can take the time to properly rest his foot and fully heal, because somehow it might be him having some sort of tendonitis? My team member found out she had tendonitis after a swelling the size of a golf ball swelled between her thumb and pointy finger last week so the doctor ordered her a full week to not use the hand at all if she wants to fully recover (but of course she’s stubborn and still drove to work and continued to work with that hand - I had to make her stay at home a couple of days). Aside from Hyunseung, Gikwang is off to Solomon Islands in this month to film the survival program Laws of The Jungle, no? Ah.. so that means BEAST will have 1 member needing 7 days of sleep (lol Hyunseung’s IG).. and another member being out of the country between now and end of July I guess..

Aah.. I was hoping that BEAST would attempt Dance With U, my favourite track, or even History, to close the promotion but these two are kind of performance tracks that it would be weird for BEAST to be standing still or free-styling without a proper choreo… but then with Hyunseung’s foot and Gikwang’s filming, maybe BEAST don’t have the luxury or time to practise new choreo for it in time. Hmm.. they’ve performed We Up so that’s out of the picture, or they could go for No More but that has been pre-released and won an award, so its a bit stale to perform again so maybe not, or maybe they could go for Tonight, I’ll Be By Your Side, a ballad to close the promotion just like how You did for Fiction, or how When I Miss You did for IABN, or How To Love did for Shadow… but somehow I feel that BEAST won’t pick up TIBBYS because for one, its not a track done by their member, two, the track seemed to be a filler track, and three, the genre is not what their usually preferred musical taste? Ok that’s purely my assumptions.

Hmm.. anyway I guess the sensible track left to close Good Luck's promotion would be Sad Movie… and with what Yoseob tweeted, surprisingly Korea likes this track and it seems to be another public friendly b-side of their EP so perhaps thats why they’d go with Sad Movie since they’ve already have a practised choreo for it.

Oh wow I didn’t expect my thought process on BEAST’s ending promotion performance would be this long-winded..

Watching Adrenaline in the car… is kind of awesome.

Pancakes. Cute.

[NAVER] BEAST, are they celebrities or artists? 'All-weather' idols ›

Wahh.. I like reading comments from industry insiders about BEAST.. so I’ve bolded / italicised them up.

Posted on July 1, 2014 by mrsdoob2uty

Please take out with full credits


Source: NAVER



(but yeah.. IT’S JULY ALREADY! OH NO! OH NO!)

Comic strip ‘napped from @Calvinn_Hobbes


Salam.. Ramadhan Kareem greets us again.

The weather was pretty hot these days, that it prompted a non-Muslim colleague to voice out her concerns for us for when we need to fast in these conditions. I just smiled back, was really glad that I live amongst people who don’t share my religion yet still care of us, and said to her that at least I’m luckier fasting in an air-conditioned building than those who had to fast right under the sun, am luckier I still have means to eat [upon breaking my fast] than those who didn’t have ready access to clean water and food.

Anyway. Wishing my Muslim friends and readers a great spiritual month ahead, amin..

Good Luck dance practise led by Johnny Erasme aka JBlaze and Mykell Wilson.. this snippet is like ice cream on a summer day.. delicious. They started of with a warm up session with Missy Eliott’s One Minute Man, somehow everyone made it cute. 

But ah.. when they actually started Good Luck… I can’t get my eyes off the video! It was a very cool start. Too bad they just had it less under a minute huhu..

At parts the choreo reminded me of flamenco dancing with the dance claps..

Gikwang’s limbs flow very fluidly, Junhyung’s footworks were swiftly cool, Yoseob’s small compact stature works like a beautiful piece moving around in this video, Hyunseung waif-like flow should have made him out of place but strangely it did not, Doojoon and his never-ending big smile, its like his face projecting his thought ‘like how awesome is this 8D’ kind of face, Dongwoon fumbling a bit here and there but its maknae’s Achilles heel, ahaha..

I wish they had shown more of these.

Video source from MBC Every1

T_T BEAST’s 6th EP was my last stream from azia’s site. I streamed until the webpage is no longer available.. goodbye site, you are the best.

Ahh… I don’t know how the long-winded post below would turned out.. I’ve wrote everything here and there.. pieces by pieces. Lol… I apologise first for my incoherent, un-edited ramblings.


We Up

When I first listened to it, I was thinking that the tune was cheesy. But eventually the song has taken me over as Junhyung strode on with the rest of his verse. Ahaha ok yay for a disco club-friendly genre. Yay for full track for first song, not mimic of an intro. Love love the way Hyunseung started his line. Who is that in between his verse? Ah, I think its Gikwang. Love Gikwang in this. Ahaha really got bitten by Doojoon’s manly squeak in this, I’m all up with him. I love how the build up was with Dongwoon’s Tonight.. this bridge was awesome. Yoseob’s bridge ending suddenly reminded me of MJ with his ending adlib, I’m jamming to them. Yes, I love Gikwang’s vocals in this. In fact, they all sounds so playfully and ready to get hyped up to let go everything and just purely enjoying the night with their partners.


Good Luck

Ahaha.. the “transformer transform!” build up sound-bit that became the bridge between Yoseob’s intro to the main song were precious. Seriously, like I’ve mentioned when the MV was released, their powerful vocals were on point in this. I like the momentary pauses between the “Good.." and "..Luck”. I can go on and on how I am in love with the vocals - a bit of a juxtapose since this is a representative powerful dance track, but haa…. I’m still basking in its contradictions.. and BEAST pulled it off awesomely. But hmm.. then after a number of listens, I realised that Gikwang only has the intro after Yoseob, and takes the last verse. Nonetheless, it didn’t feel like he has the least lines since he was the center opening and the center end of this song. I like that the build up incorporate strings arrangements.. BEAST songs + orchestra assembly = love.


Dance With U

Surprisingly, this is one track that latches to me so easily, didn’t hold too tightly, yet comfortably sits in my mind, playing again and again so carefree in there that I don’t really mind it occupying my space. I love Doojoon’s one more time one more time. Really upbeat and made me moved my body and groovin’ it to the beat and.. with my hands off from the steering wheel for a couple of seconds while actually driving on the road (ok I did wrong there.. safety first!).

And oooh how I love how everyone have a swapping vocals in this - listen to it properly and its like the vocals are doing its round of vocal choreography! I’m impressed! While it is not the same lyrics, the verse’s flow are the same, and JH/TJ creatively swap Yoseob’s first verse to become Hyunseung’s in the second repeat verse.. AND then combined them both in the last (by the way… I love Hyunseung’s vocal in this track). As is with Gikwang’s and Dongwoon’s… they have not the same line, but same intro “when I was your man" verses.. AND JH/TJ also combined these two vocals at the end verse. And not forgetting the last pair, Doojoon and Junhyung.. it was first Doojoon’s one more time one more time, then it was Junhyung’s (heck they even swapped Yoseob and Hyunseung in between these two main verses)… AND in the end JH/TJ combined Doojoon and Junhyung at the last verse. I love these play around.. Good job with the vocal choreo, JH/TJ *thumbs up* And oh, I like the line when Gikwang said he ‘didn’t care if he has to lose everything”, JH/TJ actually made his last note a fading, blipping echo.. like he even don’t mind loosing his voice..

Ha.. I might not make sense in the above! Anyway, posting the lyrics here because I really want to listen and bob my head and might want to look it up to memorise the vocal choreo (ahaha.. like how dancers would look up dance practise videos to learn the dance)..

[DJ] We fought, yelled, and cried everyday
but those were the good times
now that I think about it.
Our time together is like a finished song,
it’s still replaying in my heart

[KK] When I was your man
You were my everything
If I could be with you again
I don’t care if I have to lose everything

[YS] I wanna dance with u one more time
Holding your hand and looking into your eyes
I’ll hold you on the endless music and
never let you go, so you can’t go away.

[DJ] One more time, one more time
to dance with you one more time
Just once, one more time
to be able to dream the same dream as you
[YS] I wanna dance with u one more time
[DJ] for everything that’s lost its place.

[JH] Like a bunch of dots in a white space,
I don’t want to, but I keep staring into it.
I try to run away and hide, but like raging rain
I can’t avoid this loneliness.
When I feel better, I realize I’m okay
and the most painful spot starts to suffocate me

[DW] When I was your man
When everything was happy
I never once imagined you could leave my arms.

[HS] I wanna dance with u one more time
Holding your hand and looking into your eyes
I’ll hold you on the endless music and
never let you go, so you can’t go away.

[JH] One more time, one more time
to dance with you one more time
Just once, one more time
to be able to dream the same dream as you
[HS] I wanna dance with u one more time
[JH] for everything that’s lost its place.

[KK] Between never having loved you and
having lost you like I have now,
[DW] the sadder thing is this life you’ve left me in.

[YS] I wanna dance with u one more time
Holding your hand and looking into your eyes
[HS] I’ll hold you on the endless music and
never let you go, so you can’t go away.

[DJ] One more time, one more time
to dance with you one more time
Just once, one more time
to be able to dream the same dream as you
[YS] I wanna dance with u one more time
[JH] for everything that’s lost its place.


이젠 아니야 (No More)

I started to feel that this song belongs to the whole album now, instead of standing on its own. Granted, on its own this song just gave BEAST a music broadcast award earlier today (yesterday, when this draft is finally posted.. sigh), their third win with non-title tracks since Will You Be Alright? (Jun 8, 2013) and On Rainy Days (May 27, 2011). BEAST seems to find luck with their music wins with these pre-releases. Well, I should throw in that Midnight had more digital scores recognition in the first 4-weeks during their IABN promotion, while I Knew It, made for their Beautiful Show concerts, was #1 for GAON Weekly Singles Chart (Jan 28, 2012). Lol why did I just hunted down unnecessary information in this.. no use to brag anyway, because wins or not, I love BEAST’s full-to-the-brim with emotions in their vocals in mid-tempo ballads. They’re always hits instead of misses. When I state full-to-the-brim with emotions, I didn’t refer it to major emotional wailing dragnet ballad, its just that they really emote the lyrics, the story of the song. No More is another testament to their records. It has a soft emotional reach that brushes the heart lightly, trying to soothe it to life. And it did. Nicely done BEAST - they breathe emotion honestly in their vocals when it comes to these. And thank goodness the manager actually ‘scrounge’ Junhyung’s computer hard drive and found this track.. this track was almost buried.. almost! Wah. Thank you manager-nim for finding this treasure. 



  • Composed by: Lee Gikwang, NODAY
  • Lyrics by: Lee Gikwang, NODAY, Yong Junhyung
  • Arranged by: NODAY
  • Translated lyrics: /beast-history/

Ooohh… the lyrics… the lyrics.. ahaha.. aside from the ‘secret time’ that reminds me of girl group Secret and made me giggle a bit everytime, well BEAST, summer heat is already on us, are you trying to set us on fire? Because human combustion is not something I want to become.. This is by far, BEAST’s most mature content, and watching them grow the past years, I kind of approve of it. Interestingly, the most innocent-sounded vocal in this is the eldest Doojoon - in fact his lyrics was beautifully matched as well. I love it.

However, it is also the lyrics that actually made me go hmm.. it has much similarity with Trouble Maker’s Turn Up The Volume (and in some bits, 놀고 싶은 Girl) from their Chemistry mini album. Hmm.. as well as some other lines, they seemed a bit patched up from variety of inspirations. While I may feel it lacks.. ingenuity? but I admit, bedroom songs usually have one goal in mind and usually ended up sharing similar similes, similar enticing words. I do applaud the composing, arrangement efforts though. I like the ‘oooh oohh ohhh’ (sooo sexy) right after Yoseob’s Entrust me with your body and share our scents, your breath makes my heart pound’ and before Junhyung’s verse that contains Turn off your phone, the music we’re going to compose now nothing should interrupt it.. (oh boy.. I’m pretty sure Junhyung wrote his own part.. read the rest.. his verse was hot love). Ah.. anyway, this is a great effort to showcase Gikwang’s composition - in fact a lot of listeners (haters or fans alike) are quick to point that History as one of the must listen in this EP, so good job! I’d like to think that Hyunseung also helped pave way for these kinds of mature track to be eagerly received by BEAST fans and other listeners alike.


이 밤 너의 곁으로 (Tonight, I’ll Be At Your Side)

The only track not created by any of BEAST members. This mellow ballad style is not their forte, but it seems that its either added for sake of genre variety in this EP, or because they still want Jeon Haeseong to make an appearance after his work in Yoseob’s The First Collage (I’d say, its the former). In fact, if this track didn’t have the genre similarities with Yoseob’s third solo track 하던 대로 해 (Do As You’ve Been Doing), which made me searched it up, I would have just stop at the genre similarities instead of finding out Jeon Haeseong’s slightly-light-melo-tune-actually-depressing-lyrics and composing signature. Its like strumming a guitar, playing a spring song and smiling while drenched from being under the sad rain, that kind of feel. This composer’s recent work, in fact, is Arm Pillow by Davichi. Anyway, yeah. I kind of like that Junhyung kickstarts this without much fireworks - sudden yet subtle intro. Of course, sweet vocals like Gikwang’s and Yoseob’s became prominent here, though I like the combination of 3 vocals [KK-HS-YS] (and later in the end, [DW-KK-YS]) back-to-back for chorus section.


Sad Movie (KR version)

After so many repeats of Sad Movie in Japanese, my first few listens on this were really like trying on new shoes - it bites and linguistically it can be quite uncomfortable to the ear… Sad Movie in Japanese sounds so much fluid and perfect for the tune. However, once the shoes are broken in, it became more familiar, a bit more comfortable to hear.. especially listening to it while reading up the lyrics.

This is where we end
It was very passionate but
eventually we couldn’t avoid a farewell either.
It’s supposed to be this way, don’t even bother with lingering feelings.
Just think of it as watching a sad movie.

Hyunseung has attitude when he sang his ‘don’t even bother’ chorus line - different than his execution in the JP version, but I like it in this KR version. So far, the jarring difference noticeable between the JP vs KR version came mostly from Doojoon’s verses, but reading up his lyrics it was nicely done (as in the rhymes)..



Overall, I like that vocally, JH/TJ tend to swap vocal-couples in each tracks (except Sad Movie, I guess) - they knew each member has different tone colours, so they played it to their advantage when it comes to camouflaging repetitive lyrics by swapping member’s vocals - it made each song more full? and because of the different tone colours it got us listener thinking the songs are well padded when actually, the same verses were sung by other members.  For example, in We Up, Hyunseung changed verse with Doojoon. Again these two swap verses, as well as Yoseob and Gikwang in Good Luck chorus. And just read up my long-winded bit about this in Dance With U. In History, they take turn too - Dongwoon-Doojoon having that heavenly passage, Hyunseung-Gikwang in the build up climatic chorus, then Yoseob-Dongwoon in the second part. They even have a short swap in the last chorus for Tonight, I’ll Be At Your Side, where Dongwoon takes over Gikwang’s, and Gikwang takes over Hyunseung’s. In No More, the lyrics are story-like, there’s hardly a repetitive verses except during the chorus, so the swapping won’t work but the vocals does great job at emphasising the flow. 

I think this is one of the major reasons why I think this EP was very progressive as compared to the previous group work in HTLHTL, they’ve multi-tasks their vocals now in almost every tracks. In my line of work, its called ‘cross training’ to ensure the knowledge are spread around and to ensure sound back up plans are in place - these are usually put in place once they have reached operations stability - and I think BEAST are heading toward such growth too.

I think Dance With U is my favourite track so far, well We Up came very close behind and then Good Luck too, as is No More and History and Sad Movie.. ok I can’t decide which is my favourites… uhm.. its all of them it seems. I kind of love them all. Well.. at least I can say that I don’t mind putting Tonight, I’ll Be At Your Side at the backburner.. it may showcases the group’s talents in different genres, but maybe its just not the group’s personalities.

Having said that, I do hope that BEAST will consider doing works that are not love-romance-heartbreak-centric. It’d be interesting to listen to a track about their youth and friendships and about the people around them :)

Stream source from